I Dreamed a Dream

Last night I had a very vivid dream.  I attribute it to the fact that I've been doing a lot of reading this last week, as the dream took on many qualities from the fantasy-style story I've been enjoying.

In my dream, I was in a magical land, where wizards and other magical beings lived.  Akaila was there as well.  We were presented with goblets full of a delicious, aromatic liquid.  It was a magical concoction, of course, and would allow the person drinking it to become another person for a day.  Akaila was shown the drink that would turn her into me, and I was shown the drink that would turn me into her.  In order to change, we would have a brief period of time during which we would be flooded with one another's memories.  Those memories, trials, successes, failures, fears, and emotions would become our own.

As we debated if we wanted to try it for a day or not, I thought to myself, "If Akaila was me for a day, she would desperately want back into her life.  She would finally understand why I'm so depressed, and she would be miserable."  In a sense, I didn't want her to drink from my cup.  Another, selfish side of me wanted her to drink it, simply so that she would GET IT.  Someone would finally truly understand me.  I thought that if I drank from her cup, I would probably feel a sense of lightness, simply from having lived less years.  I also thought how educating it would be for me to be able to get into her mind.

Well, we decided to do it.  Akaila took my cup, and began to drink from it.



And I woke up.  No!!!

I wasn't completely awake, though.  I feel like I was somewhere between dreams and reality, because I kept seeing images, but I was consciously aware of them, and of myself lying in bed.  It's a nice place to be.

In my beautiful restful place between awake and asleep, my mind landed upon the Savior.  In a garden.  Praying.  Asking if it were possible for His Father to take away the cup that He would drink....of course, he followed it with a statement that He would do His Father's will.

And it hit me.

I often feel so misunderstood.  Unappreciated.  And yet, I don't NEED Akaila, or Clay, or anyone else in this world to drink my cup.  I don't NEED them to understand me completely, and to know me completely, because HE already drank the cup.  HE already knows me through and through.  He knows my thoughts, my fears, my doubts, my shortcomings.  He knows my successes, my talents, my joys.  Jesus the Christ drank my cup.  He drank YOUR cup.  I don't need magical potions in a magical land.  The magic has already happened, through my Savior.

I am not alone.  You are not alone.  What a comforting, beautiful thing.  I'm so grateful for the dreamy reminder that I received of that last night, after an emotional few weeks.

I've been terrible about updating this blog, but I had to write my thoughts down before they fade from me.  In doing so, I hope to keep this precious reminder alive in my heart for as long as possible.

Walk to the Park

Once a week we take Munchkin to gymnastics, and then Buddy Boy and I sit in the car waiting.  It gets crowded in the building, which is anxiety causing, and so we avoid going in.  Now that the weather is improving, however, we can start spending our time outdoors nearby.  Buddy Boy suggested we head to a nearby park to explore last time.  It was a great idea, and we really enjoyed ourselves: