ABCs

A gal in my ward sent an email to me and others, and she said she felt inspired to share a message with us all from President Monson.  It was very timely for me, as you know if you read my last post:

President Monson's ABC's......

"A is for attitude, changing the inner attitudes of our minds, we can change the outer aspects of our lives. To do the best we can and then to choose to be happy about our circumstances, whatever they may be, can bring peace and contentment.

B is for believe--in yourself, in those around you, and in eternal principles. You can achieve what you believe you can. Trust and believe and have faith.

C is for courage. Courage becomes a worthwhile and meaningful virtue when it is regarded not so much as a willingness to die manfully but as a determination to live decently.

There will be times when you will be frightened and discouraged. You may feel that you are defeated. The odds of obtaining victory may appear overwhelming. At times, you may feel like David trying to fight Goliath. But remember, David did win!!

May we all remember these ABC's as we begin our journney, cultivate a positive ATTITIDE, a BELIEF that you can achieve, and the COURAGE to face whatever challenges may come our way. "

Bread for All

Last Wednesday I did some filming for the New Testament Project that the church is doing.  Last time I did it, I wrote a really long post about it, and I want to avoid that, so I'm just going to point out some things that I want to remember:

• It was HOT!  It was 105 degrees on set, and all of the extras were wearing thick, long, layered robes along with thick, heavy, tightly tied turbans.  Oh my gosh, it was hot.  By the time we took lunch, six people had already gone down and had to leave from heat exhaustion.  
• Corbin Allred was the head of the rescue team, the group of men available for those who got sick.  That was fun.  He was really sweet and I enjoyed chatting with him for a bit.

• We filmed the scene "Jesus Feeds the Five Thousand" (John 6:1-14 is one reference).  It was really cool to be a part of such a great story from the New Testament.
• One of the 12 disciples (I don't know which he was playing) handed me bread from the basket.  I in turn broke it and shared with others.  It was fresh loaves of wheat bread, and because of the heat, and to keep it real, we were encouraged to eat the bread.  After each take they brought out more fresh bread for us.  I of course, couldn't eat any and the disciple told me he was going to "tell Jesus on me" for not eating.  I replied that if Jesus Himself came down and blessed this bread, I would eat it, but until then, I was not going to ingest anything with gluten.  It was pretty funny.  It looked and smelled so good, and I was tempted, not going to lie.  The dried fish was not as tempting.
• My day began at 4:00 am when I got up and drove to Goshen, UT.  It ended at 9:00 pm when I arrived home exhausted.
• Sitting on the desert floor was miserable, ha ha!  It was hot and scratchy, and there were lots and lots of fire ants just waiting for someone to eat.

(I cannot share any pictures from that day and was not allowed to take any pictures on set, so here's a photo that the church has shared here...this is the land we were on.)

• I was once again mistaken for a teenager by multiple people.  I suppose when you can't wear makeup and you're all dressed in similar clothing, it's hard to tell.  I cannot lie though, it made me very happy.
• I continue to be amazed at the spirit that is able to be present there, although I can attest that the biggest indicator of the spirit is your own personal attitude.  In the (literal) "heat of the moment", it can be hard to feel that...because you're tired, hungry, hot, dirty and you have a headache.  But in the moments of pondering and reflecting and REALIZING what you're a part of, the spirit is all over.  In scripture study later on, the scenes I've been a part of are so much more alive, you know?
• I was once again impressed by how REAL everything was.  It's awesome to walk down a hill and see hundreds of other "Jews" walking with you...it feels SO REAL.
• As physically difficult as it was, the whole thing was worth it, especially when I walked into my house and heard Parker screaming at the top of his lungs, "MOMMY, YOU'RE HOME!!!" and giving me the world's biggest hug.

This is the 4th project I've been able to do with the church in the last year.  I realize that the next year will not be nearly as generous, as the New Testament Project wraps up and as more and more people apply to be a part of other projects.  While the thought saddens me, I can't help but feel happy about the stuff I've been able to do.  Work schedules have managed to somehow work themselves out so that neither Clay or I have had to take time off work for me to do this, and it's really been great.

Autism Perspective Evolved

Evelyn here.

It's been almost two years ago since we were blessed with the company of the filming crew from the United States of Autism documentary.  As I read the updates on production, I can't help but go back to that day, to go over what I said and/or didn't say, and to worry that perhaps I didn't show myself and my family in the best light.

Although, I suppose a documentary isn't about giving people their best side, it's about showing people the whole picture, right?

Anyway, there is one moment that comes back to haunt me. Partially because I worry what other will think when they see the film, but mostly because my opinion on something very particular has....evolved, if you will.

I'm not going to go into details about anything I did or said the day of filming, but I will share with you an opinion I had back then...I am a Mormon, and as such, I believe in the Resurrection.  I believe that one day our bodies and spirits, if separated, will be reunited and that our bodies will be perfected.

My opinion two years ago was that one day my sweet little Buddy Boy would be resurrected, and that he would, too, be perfected, and that thought brought me hope.

I'm horrified that I ever looked at it that way, and I beg my son's forgiveness now.

Who am I to say that HE is the one in need of "perfection", in need of fixing?  What in the world possessed me to believe that hope couldn't possibly come UNTIL that day?

As I watch my son struggle with every day things, things that you and I think are so completely simple, I am amazed.  I am amazed at his dedication to work, work, and work some more to do the things that we as a society consider "appropriate", or "normal".  I am humbled by his effort to please me and make me proud.  I am touched by his moments of success and achievement.

I realize that my son is so PERFECTLY....HIM.  He's just who he is supposed to be, and he's so uniquely...HIMSELF!  People say to me all the time, "I believe God sent Buddy Boy to you because you are strong, capable, and an individual who can love and support him in his challenges."  How wrong they are.  I realize that he wasn't sent to me because I'm an incredible mom and he needs someone like me to love him.  Perhaps he was sent to me because HE is such an incredible son and I am the one who needs someone like HIM to love ME.  To teach ME.  Perhaps it is me who will be forever changed and "fixed" on that great day.  Perhaps perfection is simply more of an awakening, of a more open love and acceptance of all those around us, whether they "fit in" or not.  We all know that Christ certainly never fit in, and it didn't make Him any less perfect...


I'm not going to pretend; I still think autism SUCKS!  I still hate seeing the frustration and overload that is experienced on a regular basis.  I hate having to change diapers more than 5 years after giving birth to my youngest.  Maybe this is a perfect example of how much more acceptance I need; who knows?  In the meantime, I will enjoy being able to love, support, and appreciate my son more fully now, as he is...in all his wonderful, Buddy Boy Glory.

Filming The New Testament

So, I signed up to be an extra for the church's filming of the New Testament.  A long time ago. Turns out that another 10,000+ other people did too. So, I was quite surprised (pleasantly!) to get a phone call last Monday night from LDS  Casting, asking me if I'd be willing to come in and film on Thursday.  I was able to work out Clay's work and babysitters so that I could go.  I later got a call asking me to come Wednesday as well, but was unable to rearrange things for two days.

Anyway, I received an email at 9:30 Wednesday night informing me of the call time.  I was to be in Goshen, UT by 7:00 am Thursday morning.  I won't lie, I was worried about the early morning, since Tuesday night I started feeling sick. And get this:  I felt good the entire day of filming, until driving home.  The cold has taken hold since.  I just somehow managed to skip a day. Just try and tell me that's not a miracle!

I was up at 5:00 am and on the road at 5:20. Upon arrival, I was ushered into a tent that I would be sharing with 250 others.  I was among the first of the extras called to wardrobe, and so I didn't really know what to expect.  What I found was incredible.  I was assigned at "African Temple Background", and was given sandals, and outfit, hair, makeup, and jewelry.  The outfit I was given was not exactly modest...but I suppose it fit the time period!  How ironic that I had to show my temple recommend to be in the film, and almost immediately afterward was given clothing that I couldn't even wear my garments with!  Heck, I couldn't even wear my bra completely. My dress was sleeveless on one side and it came down under my arm on the other side, leaving me a nice, bare shoulder.  It also came above my knees.  I tried bargaining for something different (Are you sure you want me in this?  My arms are pretty flabby!).  Didn't work.  :-)

Anyway, I received my clothing and went to change, after which I was sent to hair and makeup.  I was given a plain turban-style wrap over my head, covering my hair completely.  At makeup, I was told that I was way too light and would be washed out, so they darkened me up.  That was definitely a first in Utah!  Although seeing everyone else that was African background, I can see why.  I didn't exactly look the part until they darkened me.  They covered me in a dark stain from head to toe.  It was nice having an instant tan, but it was a shock looking at my face!

Walking back into the extras tent was pretty cool.  Being one of the first ones put in costume, I got a lot of stares.  And yes, I loved it. I felt like a star!  (It doesn't take much to make me feel special.)  As time went by, we started seeing more and more costumes, and it was incredible.  The Roman soldiers walking around were my favorite, but there were also pharisees, temple guards, Jewish men and women, Africans, and Persians. The Persians received really fancy bright clothing, and they got makeup. I got a lot of pictures, but can't post them...contract!:-)

After a while, we were taken to the set, and my gosh, it was incredible.  I mean, how many people can say they've visited Jerusalem? How many can say they've seen ANCIENT Jerusalem? It was just like being there.  The man playing Jesus was on set also, and people were so excited to see him!  Initially, I thought it seemed a little silly, these hundreds of starstruck people. But as the day went on, I began to see him differently.  Not as an actor who was playing an amazing part, but as a representative of the Savior.  I mean, you have to understand.  Standing on set with hundreds of others, ALL of whom are dressed and playing parts just like me, it began to feel as if I was REALLY there...as if the Savior was truly walking among us, cleansing the temple!  And so, when we wrapped and left the set for the day, I was so thrilled to have the chance to exchange a few words with this man (his real name is John). One of the other extras waved at him, and later said he could cross "meet Jesus" off his bucket list....ha ha!

But before the wrap, we filmed two scenes.  Yes, two scenes total, and it was a 12.5 hour day!  If that isn't testament to the detail that has to go into filming, I don't know what is.  For the first scene, we were walking through the temple where the money changers were, the animals, and everyone else, when suddenly we heard a crash and ran off, scared.  The crew members didn't tell us that anything was going to crash, so when it happened, my response was not acted. In fact, I jumped and looked back, and then panicked, thinking I'd screwed up.  But no, that was exactly what they wanted!

The second scene was an extension of the first, but just from a different angle, and a little further into the cleansing of the temple.  They were filming people running and scattering out of the temple while the Pharisees challenged Jesus.  They sent me off at the end of the scene, as one of the stragglers still running around.  They then ended the scene with the sheep scattered, tables overturned, the temple empty of people and everything, except for Christ and one perfect little lamb. The poor lamb was scared to death...all of his sheep friends had taken off running and he had to stay!

Speaking of the lamb, it was awesome working with animals on scene!  I loved it.  On set were donkeys, pigeons, sheep, and doves. There were two camels there too, but they weren't on set.

Anyway, that's the gist of my day.  I won't lie, it was hot in the sun, and physically I was not comfortable in the outfit I had.  But the day was about so much more!  Too see the camaraderie among people was inspirational. People from all over the world (literally, there were people from as far away as Ghana!!), all walks of life, all ages, coming together.  I shared friendships with so many people.  At the end, some gals asked me how old I was, and were shocked to hear how old I am (31 if anyone is interested). As we took turns guessing each others' ages, it struck me that these were people who I may not necessarily be friends with in the real world.  We are different ages, have different interests, different styles, and so much more.  Yet that day, we were simply humans, all grateful for the opportunity to celebrate our Savior's love and life.  Friends. Brothers and sisters.

I'll never forget that feeling of unity.  I'll never forget the feeling of walking the streets of Jerusalem, as the Savior walked among us. It was...I can't even think of an accurate word for it. Amazing?  Awesome? Awe inspiring? All I know is, I want to carry the feeling with me.  Forever.